the view from here

Life’s Little Moments

As a college student only months away from graduating, I should have cared about how important it was to take on the 200 plus pages of reading that I needed to complete for school. But on that particular Sunday night of my 23^rd year, my life shrunk before me and I could feel myself spiraling downward into nothingness. I had just finished watching 500 Days of Summer and as I stared at the pile of books in front of me, I felt completely alone in my nicely decorated one bedroom apartment. I think sometimes that is precisely what life does; it shows us how ridiculously wrong we are in fantasizing that there is a such thing as feeling complete, whole, or happy.

I’m not suggesting that anything terrible had happened to me on that day. It was a Sunday much like any other. I got up, I brushed my teeth, and I remained in bed for a large portion of the day reading from a new book I had recently received. Maybe it was the overload of romantic implications that penetrated my thoughts that left me feeling so alone; maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, all of the sudden all I knew was that each second felt like hours and I had no idea what I was living for or who cared. I think that thoughts like that creep up on us-often when we least expect them. We are going about our daily lives feeling fit as a fiddle, and suddenly none of it matters. Our whole existence unravels before us and we know everything and nothing all at once…

(something new I’m working on)